I don’t want to waste my time

About a month ago, I bought one of these little things:

It has changed my life. An odd thing to say, but I truly appreciate the power of a little speaker for unleashing the beast of enthusiastic head banging. I have reignited my eclectic taste in music by simply plugging in the ipod on shuffle and rocking out. This song is playing right now. 

1984, the famous Orwell novel about a totalitarian utopia, can easily be used to describe the life of many people I know. It can also be used to describe the path we are lead to believe to follow, one of conformity.

In the beginning we all start our paths in a similar fashion. Much of how the rest of our life goes is determined by family, culture and society. But why? Is our life really destined to follow this linear path? Things certainly aren’t going to be perfectly straight. If that were the case I would never have found myself counting down my final days in Asia, with a Chang beer in my hand listening to Sum 41.

For me there has been a number of defining moments of choice in my life. I feel blessed to have parents that understand my desire for choice. Of course it doesn’t come without resistence, and they are always acting in what is felt to be the best interest for me and my future.  Sometimes my decisions have been great and life changing, like heading to Halifax to pursue my degree in nutrition. Some have been incredible stupid and lacking foresight; buying a $35 000 car at age 22. Either way as much as they protected me they allowed me to learn lessons myself. This brings me to right now.

My time in Bangkok and Asia is nearing a close and is creating a lot of reflection.  7 months ago I made the decision to change my life path. I had a great job, fulfilling, and I was helping people change their lives, it all was very rewarding. For what? To move to SE Asia and pursue the superficial journey in modeling. This seems crazy, but for me it has been the right choice.  I don’t want to waste my time. As fantastic as the job I had was, it was missing something. Although modelling doesn't satisfy everything either. 

What was missing? Challenge.  I am someone that loves to grow. As Andy Dufresne said, get busy living or get busy dying.  I want to live and experience. There is so much of this world for my eyes to see, and my body to experience. Modeling oddly enough helped present this opportunity for me.  Although it has not been intellectually stimulating for me I have developed a greater curiosity for quantum physics and greater psychological understanding.  

I of course enjoy sharing my thoughts. Similarly I like reading about others as well. Kevin wrote a great reflection of his time in Thailand here : http://changethewayitis.blogspot.com/2012/05/look-back.html And also my buddy Brad is going to be swimming the English channel and journaling his adventure towards the goal here: http://bradleyfarquhar.blogspot.com/2012/05/putting-on-weight.html

Both these buddies are perfect examples of failing to conform. They have both taken their lives in a different direction and made a difference for themselves.  I envy both of them for doing such things. And as green as I become, the envy is not jealousy but a drive. The driving factor pushes me to continue enjoying life.